3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
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we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
And then my night got REAL pukey
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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