Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
