I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
