how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize