Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
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The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
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He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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