i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm both gender and math confused
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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