How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
