Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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