I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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