We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I am one with the molecules
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
