dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This is classic penis vs brain.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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