So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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