But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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