Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
