32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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