i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
