she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
