im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
