Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
