He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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