oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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