We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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