Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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