I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
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He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
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The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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