Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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