I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
