i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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