we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
