While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
