I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
