Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
