Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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