just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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