She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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