Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
