You work out of a Hotel?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
