That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
