"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
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