im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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