i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
