so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
