He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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