Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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