Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
