I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We are all done wearing pants today
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
