it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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