My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
