the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
They are going to name an STD after you.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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