i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize