You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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