remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
