i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
