i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
