Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
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If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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