I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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