i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You don't make any sense
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