I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I lost the right to judge tonight
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
